I'm like a really down to earth guy because you know... gravity.

Corniness: 

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

Corniness: 

Q: What'd the lamp say to the man?

A: Nothing. A lamp is an inanimate object.

Corniness: 

Q: How does Moses make tea?
A: Hebrews it.

Corniness: 

Q: Why didn't the melons get married?
A: Because they cantalope.

Corniness: 

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue

Corniness: 

Q: Why couldn’t the two feet get along?
A: Because the both thought they were right.

Corniness: 

Q: Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
A: He was too far out.

Corniness: 

Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?
A: To lift his spirits!

Corniness: 

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.

Corniness: 

Q: What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?
A: Wataaaaah!

Corniness: 

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