Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!

Corniness: 

Q: What goes "ha ha ha ha, *thump*?
A: Someone laughing their head off.

Corniness: 

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat?
A: I'm sorry I am a little horse.

Corniness: 

Q: What kind of shoes are made from bananas skins?
A: Slippers

Corniness: 

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

Corniness: 

Q: What'd the lamp say to the man?

A: Nothing. A lamp is an inanimate object.

Corniness: 

Q: How does Moses make tea?
A: Hebrews it.

Corniness: 

Q: Why didn't the melons get married?
A: Because they cantalope.

Corniness: 

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue

Corniness: 

Q: Why couldn’t the two feet get along?
A: Because the both thought they were right.

Corniness: 

Q: Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
A: He was too far out.

Corniness: 

Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?
A: To lift his spirits!

Corniness: 

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